At jury duty. Waiting, thinking, with summer over, it might be time to find a boyfriend, so I might have to online date, so I might need a dating profile. OK. Let’s see. Be cool. You got this. You write all the time. Simple is sexy. Don't overthink it. Here goes:
I’m Dan! I love to laugh! I love to travel. I like cute book stores and I forget my keys a lot and I care too much about everything. I care too much about what people think because I care too much about how people feel and I haven’t figured out a way to have compassion without insecurity. I cry at movies but never in real life because I think that happiness and enthusiasm are the only emotions the world wants to see from me. I’ll spend $800 on shoes but will change cereal brands to save $1.00. I’m a good son. I believe you can tell a lot about a person based on whether their dog is nice. I’m horrible at e-mail and hit or miss on text but my FaceTime game is strong. I stay out really late & get up really early & drink a ton of coffee & you can’t say anything about it. There are two other things you can never, ever, ever mention: my bunions and my lactose intolerance. I'm fun to be around because I’m only around when I’m feeling fun. James Joyce is my favorite author but I don’t tell people that because I think it sounds pretentious. I'm good at math. I don’t smoke or do drugs or even drink but I used to and you should because I maintain stupid teenage delusions that idolize rebellion. I've been arrested and I've been to a therapist and I'm more embarrassed by the 2nd one. I’m happy and I always have been even though I’m anxious and ambitious and in general too curious to be content. I haven’t ever been in an argument in adulthood. I fall deeply, irrationally in love almost every time I take the subway. I still think about a narrow-shouldered man with Scandinavian features and a perfectly-fitted suit reading Sontag on the F Train. I have a lot of love to give but get very nervous if someone appears to need it. The most enduring mystery in the world to me is why so many people have the ingredients for happiness but insist on feeling otherwise. I don’t believe in God but wish I did. I love Broadway and at first I’ll pretend to listen to cool music but in reality I listen to this Bernadette Peters Live CD almost twice a day. I have big muscles. I act really open but it’s a trick. You’ll think you know everything and won’t ask about the things I keep hidden. I’m getting better at letting people in because with age comes evidence that some people like what they find. I could eat cereal for every meal. I’m a cancer but I have no idea what that means.
If you think it’s a match, please try to find a way to make me think I’m the only one you’re messaging.